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August 10th, 2006

01:31 pm - I don't think any of us wanted/expected our last day in England to go like this So it's 1:30pm here on my last day in England annnnnnd my emotions are all over the place because we're all uncertain as to how tomorrow will be. It is relatively early at home (7:30am) so you probably haven't heard the news. The security alert has heightened to critical in the airports because of intel they have on planned attacks on the airlines-- assemblage onboard the plane that would result in explosions. So there will be no carry-on items, everything goes underneath. The only things that I can bring with me to the cabin are traveling documents, my money, any meds I need, etc. and that's in a plastic/transparent bag. So I'm trying to figure out if I need to mail anything home or just say goodbye to some belongings. I'm not complaining about the carry-on situation because frankly, I value my life more than shit I can buy later. And I've learned that there are two other W&M students on my flight so I feel better about that. But as my second trip in a plane since I was four... there's fear that's lingering here and there when I let it. I really like England and I'm not going to let this taint my desire to come back, and I've learned that their security check over here is more thorough than ours at home. Right now, though, I just want to get home and be with my mom. :( And those of us in my "Modern British Comedy" class found out about this information at 8:30am UK time and word has trickled down through the program so we're all on pins and needles (some more than others). It was especially bad because 30-something of us are all in the one class that had a final exam, which was also this morning, so most of us have spent the past day studying and paper writing and I'm sure we're all tired. I am feeling calmer at this point, but I can tell you sir, I went to a phone and called my house right afterward to let whoever was up know what was going on because my flight will most definitely be delayed and the airports might not be open tomorrow. Heathrow is closed today sooooo I'm worried because I really don't have a lot of money to stick around longer. Well, I'm off to finish packing and try to find something fun to do to ease my nerves. We're having a closing banquet tonight, and seeing how I'm going to be headed for the airport at maybe 4 or 5 (it's 2.5 hour bus trip b/c of the different stops) so I should take a nap as well. Current Mood: concerned/worried/tired Current Music: typing

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August 9th, 2006

08:56 pm Yay for just going for stuff! Current Mood: proud

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August 6th, 2006

11:48 pm - Just back from London, someone in here is really drunk and it's not me (I'm not kidding you) YESSSSSS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym8Qwtg5zn8 R-E-C-Y-C-L-E recycle C-O-N-S-E-R-V-E, conserve don't you P-O-L-L-U-T-E pollute the river, sky or sea or else we're gonna get what we deserve! OOOORRRRR You can't fight city hall you can't fight Corporate America they are big and we are small you can't fight city hall! You should get songs from this episode together for the next Earth Day, Amy :P http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=063qk25LxPs Current Mood: tired

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August 3rd, 2006

12:02 pm - Damnit, you mean I actually have to do work over here?!? Okay, so we went to this manor called Wimpole yesterday. We (the students) have noooooo fucking idea why we went aside from the fact that it's the largest manor in Cambridgeshire (shire??) and lots of people go to check it out. It was, indeed, pretty large and labyrinthian-like once we got inside. The view from within the house was gorgeous, 2 mile spanse and awwesome. My friend Madeeha and I were planning our horror film (because it's the kind of really large house where you KNOW that it's creepy as Hell at night if you got stuck inside). We were there for 3 mind-numbing hours and managed to make the best of it. And may I say that I ALREADY LOVE TEA AND I LOVE DRINKING TEA FROM MY OWN INDIVIDUAL LITTLE TEAPOT HERE WITH SCONES AND JAM, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. So yummy. Mmm. Current Mood: should start paper... should Current Music: No Doubt

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August 1st, 2006

04:47 pm OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD. The drama is ridiculous here. And I'm actually frazzled by some of it. Madeeha and I recorded a list of all the dramatic battles that have ensued- some really absurd and hilarious and others more "ooo...ouch"-worthy. I think it's more PMS because I was fine hours ago because now my mood's slipping. Boo. Current Mood: confused

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July 29th, 2006

10:33 pm

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July 25th, 2006

09:10 pm - I am not an alcoholic, I am simply annoyed with guys YET AGAIN Currently pregaming before pregaming for tonight's festivities. See, this club, "Le Fez", has every Tuesday as "Ladies Night" where we get in free before midnight. It is also "Ebonics Night" so they play a lot of R&B-type music. So a bunch of us have a routine of going in. Since I normally drink slowly, I started pregaming half an hour ago with a lovely mix of orange/mango juice and vodka and I can see the effects right now as I type much slower than normal. Laura, you actually do know the guy that I've been slightly crushing on. You might reprimmand me for it as well. It seems that he likes this other girl who SCARES ME so I presumably have to end it. I think I will try to say something to him, however, to indicate that it was not cool of him to lead me on with interest and then suddenly stop doing stuff. You don't hold hands with people and then not talk to them at that age!!!! Current Location: comp lab before Valerie's room for drinking Current Mood: crazy

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July 19th, 2006

07:32 pm - I *KNEW* IT WOULD HAPPEN!!! Yup. On our way back from dinner at a local pizza place, we saw a cyclist. A naked cyclist. A naked male cyclist riding his bike against the traffic. Didn't I say I'd see some nudity while over here?! What is it with me running into naked people?!?!?!?!? Current Mood: trying to work

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01:38 am Noooooot sooooooobeeeeeer. Okay, I really am not sober right now. Which is awesome. I'm trying to make moves on someone in the program, but it's going on kind of oddly because I'm getting all shy and shit. I'm really wacked out right now. Drinking water. YEAAAAAAAAAAH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI. Current Mood: +

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July 18th, 2006

08:51 am They played The Macarena last night during International Student Night in this one club. And yes, I danced to it. It was amazing and scary at the same time. Current Mood: I think I'm getting a cold?!? Current Music: The Darkness

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July 17th, 2006

11:59 am I almost ordered a "Chicken Royale" on the way back to Cambridge from York, England. *Almost*. I just thought I'd share that. Current Location: W&M has overtaken the comp lab, oooh yeaaah Current Mood: tired as a muthafucka Current Music: people randomly saying things

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July 14th, 2006

11:58 am I LIKE TOAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't think that I did, but I do! I really do! Yay toast! Current Mood: shoe shopping?!?!?! Current Music: Foamy the Squirrel who wants creamy cream cheese

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July 10th, 2006

11:12 am - 'ello from the British Isle!!!!!! ::KISSSSSSSSSIIIIINNNNG THE COMPUTER:: Innnnnnternnneeeettttttttttttttttt ::drool:: Good day everyone and anyone who is reading this! I have safely made my way to England and have been in this country for something over 2 days. Adrian and I got in at 11-something but did not arrive in Cambridge until 1-something in the morning England-time. The plane rides were so neat-- we had a pretty disgruntled gay man as our flight attendant (or the "ungay gay" man as I call him) when we were going to Chicago. When we switched planes, though, SO much nicer, pretty decent food and MUCH nicer flight attendants. Hooray! Ooh! And Pooh Bear and Napoleon are also here keeping me company once Adrian goes back to the states on Tuesday. Actually, we had a picture taken where Napoleon is enjoying the nearby company of some British ducks :P FYI: I am 5 hours ahead of you. So whilst it is currently 11:15am here, you are all probably still in bed :P I have soooooooo much I want to type out but I am here in the computer lab with two of my newish friends and we're all fancying our computers with PASSION. And lunch approaches soonish so I can't type too much (and the keyboards here are slightly different and I'm still adjusting to it). I've had my two classes for the day. 8:30-11:30 unfortunately, but then the rest of the day is mine. Plus we only have class Monday through Thursday, so hooray! I didn't bring my laptop with me so I'm at a slight loss as to how to occupy my time (the rooms are a good size for singles, but there isn't a radio or anything so I'm heavily relying upon music and socializing to pass the time). I shall dispense more details later. I *WILL* say that thusfar, I have: observed "Big Gay LA's" group I must explain seen white British ass Po Na Na --- it's a bar and man, interesting tale from that visit obviously checked out the pub & club scene seen someone get arrested seen Pirates of the Caribbean enjoyed drinking because I DON'T HAVE TO DRIVE ANNNNNYWHHHHHERRRREEEE, THANK YOU GOD!! I had SUCH a different idea of this city beforehand. I thought I was coming to a larger version of W&M with a slightly more country feel. Oh no. CITYISH LIFE!!! This is a condensed but still decently-sized town/city. SO many shops. SO many restaurants and bars. Mika, you would LOVE it here because SOOOO many people cycle- literally, there are bicycles chained EVERYWHERE, and with cute baskets on them as well! I absolutely wish that I had one here. Graham actually bought one- granted it's a girl's bike that is pink and purple but we try to overlook that :P It's NOT SUBURBIA AND I LOOOOOOVVVVE THAT!!!!!! Note: The food hasn't been horrible, either. I tried some of my brother's fish and chips yesterday and both were good. I've had pizza and that was yummy. And the breakfast foods are quite filling: beans (think beanie weenies), toast, scrambled eggs, sausage (it's got a different taste to it than ours but still good), ham, mushrooms (remember, *I* actually like mushrooms :P), fruit, juice, coffee and tea, cereal. So it's slightly different but only by a few foods and tastes. I don't know what lunch through the program's mealplan tastes like but I shall soon find out. And the people on the trip aren't too shabby. Yes, there are girls here that I never talked to at W&M and I probably won't talk to them that much while here. I don't know who all you would know besides Graham that is here, hmm... But there are a number of folks so things are good. One thing about this country is that people seem so much happier (well, they're at least not as grumpy)! Walking down the street is like walking down any city street- people are focused on arriving at their destination and sort of in their own box. But manners are so much better, speech is relatively better (sometimes hard to understand, haha), and cleaner as well. The police are very relaxed (except for last night when Italia won the World Cup. Oh my God, there were SO many people wearing Italia and France flags and colors yesterday and then they were all in the streets singing the Italia song and being drunk and highly amusing; in THAT case, the police were actually out and about). Even the homeless are nicer- one man gave us directions to a really good bar the first night a group of us went out. And as my brother observed, people look healthier/better. There are many different body types and fashion styles which is SO refreshing! More diversity than I imagined- blacks, Asians, Indian, etc. I feel comfortable walking around for the most part without staying conscious of my race. And it's not just ridiculously skinny blonde girls with orange skin and A&F clothes!!! Amy & Mika, you would LOVE hanging around here because it's like a walking H&M everywhere. And flat shoes are pretty much the thing. A downside is I'm in SUCH CELL PHONE WITHDRAWAL!!!!!! I keep wanting to pull it out from my phone and call/text someone, but I left my phone at home. But HEY! I *DOOOO* have voicemail now! So leave me messages :D Everything is also expensive and I've kinda splurged a little on drinks so I'm going to have to really be commanding about it from here on out. It hasn't rained *yet*, but I do have rain gear for it. No airconditioning, but eh, I didn't really expect it. And Christ's is very small and pretty buuuuut kinnnnda creepy when you're walking through it at night. Thank goodness for the Porters-- they're watchmen of a sort that are at the main gate 24/7. They're quite nice. AND I SAW A SQUIRREL. ... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D There are pigeons EVERYWHERE. They RULE this town/city!! Poor Britanie & Leslie (the girls I'm here with) have this weird fear of birds so they don't enjoy them as much. Go figure. I'll do a guy report later. Good stuff and bad/odd/gross stuff. I will say that one girl did not waste ANY time in hooking up with a British guy. I don't know what they did but she DID say that he took her bra. All right, I should go. Cheers Buh-bye! Current Location: computer lab owned by Christ's College Current Mood: chipper Current Music: typing, YAY!!!

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July 7th, 2006

05:39 am - LEAVING FOR THE AIRPORT!!! AMY! MIKA! Send me your snailmail addresses via here or email!!!! GOING TO THE AIRPORT. FIRST PLANE TRIP SINCE I WAS 4. OMFG I'm bringing Pooh Bear so I don't asphyxiate all over the place XD Next time I type, I shall be abroad. FREEEEAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKY!!!!!! Current Mood: crazy Current Music: My house with people pushin me out the door

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July 5th, 2006

03:05 am - Really Long Angst-ish Venting *See comment under entry about needing English guys to understand why I'm in such a not-so-great mood It's really hard to explain the impact of this part of the Care Bear movie to those that may not have grown up with the series. It was one of the cartoons that I watched a lot, so I do have sincere attachments to it. And this movie is about growing up, about helping one another while growing up, and about maintaining friendships even when it's hard to do so. * At the end of the movie, The Big Star thingie says: I thank my lucky stars that there are people out there like you who really do care. You're not afraid to share your feelings. And that, my friends, makes you all world class Care Bear Champs. FOREVER YOUNG from the Care Bears II movie Hello old friend It's good to be with you Time is standing still Our love shines true and bright, it always will My wishing star Has guided all you do My empty heart will fill We still feel forever young Looking back we're just the same as we were when we began This love will keep protecting us Reach for me and I'll take your hand When we're apart, just close your eyes and you'll see me waiting there You can always count on me I will always care My special friend Inside my heart you'll stay You'll be with me until The sun shines through the night, it never will My little star You'll never fade away The hands of time will still And we'll be forever young This song tends to make me cry now. We're not just the same as when we were younger- things have gotten more complicated, more mature, sometimes more disappointing. People are dying, people are getting married, people are having kids. Friends and interests and significant others say that they'll be there for you but then disappear or leave you behind. There are so many depressing things about growing up- I think one of the biggest things is that we lose hope. We lose hope in a lot of things. And it's that sweet, innocent beginning mentioned in the song that reminds me of the things I wanted when I was younger and shorter and helps put things into perspective. We get older and grow up and think that we can't be silly and immature after the college years. We think that love is really all about sex and (eventually) marriage. I'd like to think that there is still such a thing as love that develops from friendship, from humble and sincere beginnings that work up, from building and growing, and not just from a jump-skip 1 week period of insincerity into a sudden "commitment". But people move too fast nowadays. They don't want to take the time to get to know one another. It's all about finding someone NOWNOWNOW and then letting that be that-- or if that doesn't work, find more than one person at once and see who'll be the best candidate after a trial period. I'm becoming so cynical, so down, so out about the idea of romance and I've only turned 21. There's got to be a way to turn this around. I don't want to be a shrew this early, haha. So hope has to come in somewhere. Maybe, deep down, we really have stayed the same. At least, parts of us stay the same. When I was cleaning out my bedroom closet last week, I found all these toys and games I haven't touched in years. I didn't have the heart to throw anything out; instead, I repacked them and organized them. Back then, my parents didn't spoil me with huge dollhouses. I learned to be creative and resourceful and made a lot of things myself. I used cardboard boxes and cut them up to make schools, houses, buses, tables and chairs. I took cloth and thread and made little backpacks and outfits. I mean I took it to a whole other level. I've always been imaginative, and yet I've let that imagination slip with the onslaught of school, the drive for materialism, the fear of the future. So I want to keep these self-made toys to show to my kids or my godkids or my nieces and nephews. Perhaps they'll be inspired to be resourceful themselves, to let their minds fly free. It's amazing what you're capable of with imagination and even the most basic of tools- but it's a matter of not letting that imagination and creativity die as the years pass. And I've let myself get caught up and chopped down by my own negativity. I've felt that here, at home, my presence doesn't hold that much of an impact; that whether I was here or in England, the people I'm around wouldn't really miss me that much. Why? I don't know, it's some weird feeling that I've had about what my social role is in that group- I feel like I don't really have one and that I'm replaceable/eraseable. Not constructive thinking, I know, haha. But it's my own negativity and I've got to stop thinking like that. Furthermore, as much as I wish I didn't care so much so that this wouldn't hurt each time, I can't stop caring about people. I open my heart up and share and care, and sure, I've gotten hurt, but that's what happens in general. You take that risk of vulnerability when you let someone see into you. He (the guy who caused the current shuffled emotions) said that I was one of the nicest people he's met in a long time, that I'm a rare kind of person. Perhaps that niceness was abused, but I can't stop being a rare kind of good person just because of a few guys. They say that nice people finish last. Well maybe we do. But beneath my current pessimism, I do still have faith that things will work out somehow. I hate the idea of having wasted months getting to know someone who claimed that I was this-and-that. Guys can do that- play around with two girls at once- since there are usual more women for each man than viceversa. That doesn't make it right, but it's a reality. And this is another learning experience. I don't want to stop caring. It would be nice, however, if I could end up caring for someone who cared for me on a similar (and MONOGAMOUS, haha) level. I guess until that day comes, I'll have to try harder to not let the negativity and pessimism consume me, nor let it deter me from getting to know people just because I'm afraid of being hurt. Because when you push my mopey frustrations, and even my current upset emotions, aside, there's still a twinkle of hope. I think it's the twinkle of my wishing star, my little star, that still believes in my dreams as a littler girl and hasn't given up on them. I mean, my heart isn't exactly "empty", so it must be in there. I haven't really had that much fun this summer, so England shall do me good. I'll have a chance to not overthink things, but rather to just absorb and learn and experience. Get some breathing room. And I need to have a little adventure of my own on my own. So I hope my little star keeps looking out for me. Current Mood: recovery period Current Music: Care Bears II

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July 3rd, 2006

04:02 pm - seriously PMSing Due to a very redundant and very frustrating trend that I have found in giving the opposite sex a chance in getting to know me and vice versa only to be disappointed by ridiculous stupidity/insincerity, I temporarily renounce the prospect of dating and will attempt a *temporary* (since this kind of thinking can't be succesful for too long, at least not for me anyways, haha) period of figuring things out and being a cool person up for a summer fling but nothing serious. Man, I wish I had the emotional inclination of a college boy. Woo, life would be a bit easier, haha. Current Mood: want to eat a whole pizza

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10:51 am - Decisions of a Fed-Up Chica aka Ignore This 1) I have been to a gentleman's club. And dare I say that I saw few (or, at least, not your obvious) gentlemen present. 2) Due to extenuating circumstances, I think that I shall embrace singledom for the remainder of the summer and perhaps merely be a tease if not nonchalant, haha. 3) As soon as I am able, I'm moving out of this house Current Mood: need to recurl hair

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June 30th, 2006

05:18 pm - 7 Days Till the "Tiff Goes Abroad!" adventure begins!! :D Soooooo this time next Friday, I will be on an airplane on my way to England. FREAAAAAKKKYYYYYYY!!!! o_O;;;;;;; I am excited. I still have a number of things to get before I go, but I am, at least, not as stressed about it at the moment. I have my books and a piece of luggage and I'm looking for a good carry-on piece. Yeah, have I mentioned that I haven't been in an airplane since I was four-year-olds?!? Hence the luggage search & purchasing. But yall know I like to shop, soooo it's not too bad. And I figure that if people backpack it through Europe a lot on meager amounts of everything, I can try "packing lightly" and make it work for a little over a month. And yall know I'm on the middle-high maintenance track, I ain't gonna lie, haha. So I'm not looking forward to packing... which I'll probably save for Wednesday... But hey, I must save space for any cool stuff I buy at the last minute over there (because this is going to be an expennnnsive trip and I must make mah money laaaaast). ... ::giddy dance moment:: By the way. I'm reading Shakespeare. YES. I'm reading even MORE Shakespeare. I bet you never thought that possible. Twelfth Night and The Two Gentlemen of Verona. Seriously. I am Shakspeare's bitch. Current Location: at home, about to go read at Starbucks for a bit Current Mood: reading Current Music: umm, MTV?

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June 25th, 2006

09:46 pm - Last day of work (for a while) tomorrow, aka Tiff Learns About Men's Clothing Apparently Justin Timberlake dumped Cameron Diaz. I felt like sharing that. I mean, cute woman I suppose, but... I dunno... Not exactly the most talented annnnd seems kinda like a dumbass (blonde). SO yeah. I'm amused. I'm also eating corn. Current Mood: like I said, eating corn Current Music: will soon be Venture Brothers, YES.

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June 24th, 2006

03:30 pm - Figured I'm an undergrad. senior now, might as well attempt a lil revisit otherwise 1. Who was your best friend? Laura C 2. What sports did you play? I didn't PLAY but I did manage the track team (preferably sticking with the guys' team... less drama, more cute action ;P) 3. What kind of car did you drive? Hmm black Nissan Xterra, maaaybe from '00 or '01?? It's the same car that I drive now. 4. It's Friday night, where were you at? Somewhere in Ashburn I'm sure 5. Were you a party animal? naaaaah 6. Were you considered a flirt? HA. High school boys didn't like me ::sarcastic tear:: Now that I look back on that, however, I am VERY THANKFUL. 7. Ever skip school? I know that at least twice I managed to evade class with two different people, haha 8. Ever smoke? never 9. Were you a nerd? I was probably considered one but in a nice way. I consider myself a "dork" 10. Did you get suspended/expelled? HAHA... No. 11. Can you sing the Alma Mater? I don't think we ever had one. Or, at least, I've completely blocked it out. The W&M one kinda overpowers everything else (although I do remember my elementary school song). 12. Who was your favorite teacher? Mrs. Buckley, even though she really sucked at returning emails. 13. Favorite class? English cuz I'm a bookworm... but I also didn't mind choir b/c it was an autopilot kind of class (and I was secretary... I FELT DA POWA!!!). 14. What was your school's full name? Broad Run High School 15. School mascot? the Spartan... or Ryan Scofield in a skirt... whicheverwhatever 16. Did you go to Prom? yup yup and I looked purty 17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? I thought about that recently. NO. It was all right, but the immaturity and drama and lower standards of intelligence make me CRIIIIINNNNGE now. 18. What do you remember most about graduation? My family got there late (which really pissed me off). It was pretty boring. The cool little key thingies we got were neat. It was rather strange to be saying goodbye to people, but I made the most of it and realized just how many people I got to know over the years, whether on a very close level or simply as "hi" buddies in the hall. It's nice to be able to look back in high school and have so many people say so many nice things about you. 19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year? I don't know, really, it feels soooo long ago, hahaha 20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall? I don't think that even exists? 21. Did you have a job your senior year? no 22. Who did you date? No one- like I said, high school boys didn't like me. 23. Where did you go most often for lunch? I guess the senior courtyard considering we weren't allowed to leave school. 24. Have you gained weight since then? That's a HORRIBLE question!!!!!!! 25. What did you do after graduation? I hung out with people and got ready for college. 26. When did you graduate? June 14, 2003 (my brother's birthday, haha) Current Location: @ home Current Mood: hungry Current Music: Temptation Island 3 marathon (I'm bored & lazy, sue me)

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